Lemme just establish the status quo of my life so I can carry on acting like an idiot and y’all get the context.
- Liked someone a lot.
- It failed.
- Tried hard to move on.
- It failed.
- Tried harder to move on.
- It succeeded.
- Tried to be her friend.
- Succeeded and kept succeeding. Still am succeeding.
- A close friend and I got closer due to mutual pain and were helping each other through it when one day, something clicked and we started liking each other.
- Slowly, over time, the attraction grew and now, we are into each other.
- Taking it slow and enjoying each other’s company and seeing here it goes.
- I’d like to be with her one day soon.
It’s early but I feel like she could be the girl that is actually crazy enough to stay…- I am happy now.
- Very happy.
- Her name is “Sky”, if you care. [It’s obviously not her REAL name but that’s all you’re getting outta me. :P]
- She is 19 years old, she has great taste in music, is a great cook and is very curious and intelligent.
- I like her a lot and I respect her a lot more.
- One day, I’d like to fall in lo..lo.. loarghasldkjas with her. You know what I mean, right? =__=
- Until that day, the only L-word I know is “Lesbian.” The only OTHER L-word I know is “Lesbians.”
- So I guess I “Lesbians” her.
- Oh and she “Lesbians” the shit outta me too, by some strange twist of fate.
- Life is good.
- And so is beef. <3
- Good, I mean. :D
- So yeah.
And that’s a story no one cares about. :P
I’m starting to think about all the broken people everywhere, including myself, and what’s going to happen to us in the end…
I thought about it a lot and I can’t shake the feeling that maybe someday, we’ll end up finding people who fit between the cracks. And us breaking was what MADE them suitable for us.
Or am I just being too optimistic? O.o
I had a really amazing night and I woke up feeling good [with a headache that was well worth it xD] and I showered while dancing to “Oxford Comma” by Vampire Weekend.
Dancing. Me. Literally. In the shower. WHAT EVEN… :|
And now I sit here over-thinking. :/
I JUST got outta something with someone I really, really care about. I was sad as balls and everything sucked. I was really struggling and trying to hold it together.
So am I really allowed to meet someone cool so soon? :/ Am I not SUPPOSED TO BE grieving and emotional for a long time? :/ Else, what was the value of my emotions? The pain of the end is supposed to validate how you felt, right? The more you liked someone, the worse it feels?
So why am I dancing to a song by a South African rock band in the shower today? What’s going on here?
What’s wrong with me…? :(
Would you believe me if I told you that what kept me whole after losing someone I loved a lot was… ASTROPHYSICS? O__O
No joke.
Black holes, neutron star collision, the ultimate fate of the universe, nebula formation, the redshift of galaxies, life cycle of a star, etc, etc, etc.
Seriously.
I had just lost this amazing person and all I could think about was neutron star collision. O__o The phenomenon. Not the song. [Though the song is pretty great too. :P]
Who… DOES that?! How does that even fucking WORK?! >.<
Fuck if I know, man. Fuck if I know… .__.
In the meantime, did you know that neutron stars are old, long dead stars that burned up all their fuel long ago, then went supernova, blowing off all their our layers and leaving the incredibly dense core. When two of these giants combine, it’s one of the most violent and energetic events possible in the universe. The huge amount of mass energy (combined with a rapid rotation rate) creates a huge, high-energy explosion, which according to general relativity is powerful enough to make ripples in the fabric of space and time itself!
When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
…
